Midnight Confessions
by keeponwritin
Summary: He can't say it to her. So he says it to the moon.


[Disclaimer: Like, I totally don't own Lizzie McGuire n sum junk! Or Midnight Confessions, which is by The Grass Roots. Booyah.  
  
Warning: This story is slightly bizarre. That's all I have to say. Not bizarre in a creepy, dark way. Just...odd.  
  
Onto the story.]  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
I tiptoed past the girls' room, as quietly as I could in this timeworn, creaky house. Not that this house was any bad. It still functioned correctly, but it had this ancient feel to it, even though it wasn't much older than me.  
  
And I really shouldn't complain. After all, I'm extremely lucky Miranda's parents let us stay here unsupervised. I'm pretty sure that for a second there, Mr. Sanchez debated whether or not to let me go, due to the sole fact that I'm a guy, and I'd be in house with two girls, without any adults present. Fortunately, Mrs. Sanchez stepped up and said, Honey, it's just Gordo.  
  
Not that that makes me feel any better. I'm just Gordo, therefore I must have no hormones whatsoever.  
  
Of course, I didn't say this, because I'm sure the combination of me, two girls, hormones and unsupervised would really set Miranda's dad off.  
  
But let's face it: this is Miranda and Lizzie we're talking about. I'm just Gordo' to them, too.  
  
_The sound of your footsteps  
Telling me that you're near  
Your soft gentle motion, baby  
Brings out the need in me that no-one can hear, except  
  
_I scurried into the laundry room and got myself a towel. I wasn't sure if I'd need one, but better safe than freezing cold. I opened up the door slightly and slipped through the crack I'd left myself. And suddenly, I was so glad I'd brought a towel.  
  
I continued tip-toeing around the porch and down to the pathway. I stopped for a second, and there was dead silence. I checked my watch. 11:49 PM. Maybe that's why.  
  
As I took my first step onto the beach and felt the ocean breeze sweep across my face, it felt brand new. Like I'd never really been to the beach before. I sat back near the dunes and wrapped the towel tightly around myself. Now, I'd finally get some time to think. The whole beach was pitch dark, so that all of my other senses were greatly heightened. The waves crashing against the sand soon became just another background noise, until I could settle and concentrate on my own thoughts._  
  
In my midnight confessions  
When I tell all the world that I love you  
In my midnight confessions  
When I say all the things that I want   
I love you  
  
_I never really understood why I hung out with two girls. I'm sure they often wondered why the hung with such a dork of a guy like me, too. But really, why couldn't I just have other guy friends? I never found out the answer, but I've stopped searching. Does it really matter? We are friends, that's what should matter.  
  
Or was it all for something bigger? Was my manifest destiny to be sucked into a relationship with either Lizzie or Miranda? Well, Miranda's never shown any signs of having the hots for me--you can usually tell who Miranda really likes by the way she points, stares and drools all over you. Lizzie's just a tad bit more subtle. She'd much rather play the shy, innocent little girl' ticket and lure guys to her. And I have to say, it worked pretty well, considering she's been with current boyfriend for 6 months now._  
  
But a little gold ring you wear on your hand makes me understand  
There's another before me, you'll never be mine  
I'm wasting my time  
  
_And at first, I was really happy for her, you know? Lizzie No-One-Will-Ever-Like-Me' McGuire finally met her match. As much as I'd like to say Tom is a jerk...he's not. He's cool. And that's why it hurt so bad.  
  
I gave up on my crush on Lizzie before the end of 9th grade. I came to realize it really wasn't worth risking our years and years of friendship because I had a petty little crush. And I was cool with being just her friend, just hanging out like we did before I noticed how beautiful she was. I held on to that friendship for over 3 years, up until the very last days before she met the love of her life...Tom.  
  
You know when you're failing desperately to be happy for someone, but it just comes back and stings you in the heart? Miranda seemed to notice. Lizzie never did. She was too wrapped up in her newfound love life that her best friends became nearly obsolete to her. So what did I do? I did what I always do. I sulked in my own waves of self-pity.  
_  
Staggering through the daytime  
Your image on my mind  
Passing so close beside you baby  
Sometimes the feelings are so hard to hide, except  
  
_I never really was one to admit my feelings. It was always dragged out of me at the last possible minute. But when your feelings are so often unmutual, you begin to notice its not worth the risk. It rarely is. Unless you're sure, absolutely sure this person loves you. And when can you ever be sure? Even if they say it, it doesn't mean it's true. Which is why I wanted to come out here to the beach.  
  
For most of my life, I didn't have anyone to confide in. Lizzie was the only one, but once all of my secrets had to do with her, I couldn't tell her anymore. And telling Miranda might as well have been telling Lizzie, because news traveled like lightning between the two. And everyone else wasn't trustworthy enough.   
  
So for 5 months now, I come out every night...whether out in my backyard or here on the beach, and I tell Lizzie how I feel about her. I don't hold back on one detail of the smiles she's brought to my face and the radiance about her. I hold no limits on myself, and all of my guts come crashing out. Why, why am I suddenly so free to say anything I'd like about her and feel no regrets?  
  
Because I'm only talking to the moon in the sky.  
_  
In my midnight confessions  
When I tell all the world that I love you  
In my midnight confessions  
When I say all the things that I want to  
I love you  
  
_I hesitated a second before I began tonight's confession. Since I'd started, my speeches became more and more poetic. If anyone caught me, I'd be laughed at for months.  
  
Your hand brushed up against mine when we both reached for the Cap'N Crunch at the same time this morning at breakfast. You don't know what that does to me. I try to play it off like it was no big deal but I still remember it. I still have a little scratch from where your ring hit me. The gold ring that Tom gave you. I know you're happy with him, and I want you to be happy, and I want to be happy for you, but it just doesn't work that way sometimes. I guess I'm dealing with it. You know today, when you walked out in that bathing suit you said was embarrassing, and I laughed? I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at the fact that you said it made you look ugly. Few things could make you look ugly, and that definitely wasn't one of them. I wish you weren't so hard on yourself. You're one of the most beautiful people I know, inside and out. That's why I love you, Lizzie.  
  
I was just about to spend my last minute or two outside, enjoying the pleasant breeze in my hair, when a voice came from behind.  
  
_  
  
But a little gold ring you wear on your hand makes me understand  
There's another before me, you'll never be mine  
I'm wasting my time  
In my midnight confessions  
When I tell all the world that I love you  
_  
Lizzie appeared from out of the shadows and took a seat next to me, smiling. My throat closed up. Had she heard everything I said? I was doomed-- she was going to laugh at me for everything I said, then point out that she already had a boyfriend, and made me feel like an absolute idiot. I knew I shouldn't have been doing this, I knew I'd get caught one day. Now Lizzie knew everything, how was I supposed to act around her? It would never be the same agai---  
  
Before I could think one more thought, Lizzie's arms were draped around me. Instinctively, though apprehensively, I brought my now-shaking arms up to return the embrace.  
  
Gordo...don't ever change.  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
[A/N: Wasn't that the dumbest thing you've ever read? Seriously, now! No, just kidding. If you want to bash it, go ahead. I kinda have no problems with bashing this story cause I think it's silly, too.  
  
And if you haven't noticed, I have a thing for obtuse endings. Do ya think Lizzie heard, or not? There actually is a right answer, but I won't say. ;D  
  
Lemme know what you think: please review. Thanks!]


End file.
